Tuesday, May 1, 2012

How To Treat a Telemarketer






We have a "home phone" which we never use, now that all of us have our own little smart phone gadgets. What our house phone is good for is routing telemarketing calls. I don't know why we are on anyone's list, but somehow our unlisted number gets a good many calls for political candidates, auto insurance, credit card offers, people trying to sell us stuff.

The calls always start out automated and then, if you are interested, you can either push a button or wait for a real person. Justin has gotten kind of creative in seeing if he can get us taken off of various call lists.

Profanity is the number one way to get rid of a telemarketer.

Here is number two:

Caller: Hold on for an amazing offer to decrease your credit card rates!

Justin: BRAAPPPP!!!!!

Real Person: Good morning. My name is Ashley (it's always Ashley). Would you be interested in lowering your credit card rates?

Justin: BBBBBUUUUURRRPPPPP!!!!! BRRAAAPPPP!!!!!

Real Person: (Weakly) Excuse me?

Justin: BRAAAPPPPPPBURRRPPPPPP!!!! BELLLLCCCHHHHH!

Real Person:

(Talking in the background: What is that? I don't know!)

Justin: BRRRRAAPPPPPBELLLCCCHHH!!! BURRRPPPP!!!

Real Person: Hello?

Justin: BUUURRRPPPPP!!!! BRAAACCCHHH!!! BEEELLLLLCCCHHH!!!

Real Person: Click.

By this time, I am laughing so hard, I am crying. I have to admit it. I peed a little. And immediately changed my blog topic.

(This post brought to you by the magic that is my husband. I've never wanted him more.)


  

9 comments:

  1. I love this, it is the perfect response to the rudeness of telemarketers. I have found that treating them politely, does not get you a polite response, so this is a great way to get them off the phone! When will the marketers realize telemarketing is the wrong way to get sales?

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  2. Actually, I think THIS is the right way to treat a telemarketer: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3aCL8PIOuM

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  3. I think it's impressive that he can burp like that on command!

    I put all my numbers on the national do not call list. It actually seems to work really well. Ever since I made my boyfriend sign up for it, too, his phone has stopped ringing with those useless calls.

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  4. We're on the list but still get some calls. When one comes thru, I pick it up and start pressing all the buttons until they hang up. I also record the number (we have call display) and send it in to the website that tracks the calls. They can get fined, so I at least feel proactive!

    Wish I could burb on purpose!!

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  5. We used to get credit card offers all the time, usually right at dinner time. Nothing would work to get them to stop. So one night at dinner, the phone rang. My son, Ryan, about 13 at the time, decided to handle it. When the caller asked for my husband, Ryan started to cry and said, "He can't come to the phone, he died today!" We sat at the table laughing hysterically, but silently, as the caller spent 10 minutes trying to console him, wondering why he was home alone on such a day, and then promised to remove his name. Never got another call from any credit card company!

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  6. Telemarketers are sooo annoying! It's gotten so bad that I refuse to pick up the home phone now. I only answer my mobile. (I hate talking on the phone anyway). I'm sure I put our number on the Do Not Call list years ago, but it doesn't seem to make any difference.

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  7. Telemarketers for me are only doing their job and treating them bad sometimes is their fault because they don't manage the time of calling and sometimes they are abusing their work for doing a scam thing.

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  8. OR...you could tell them to take you off their list and hang up the phone. Hanging up or being rude does nothing but allow them to code the call as a call back. The next time one calls I would consider thanking them for finding a job and paying their taxes instead of mooching off the government. Telemarkers are human beings with human feelings. A lot of them are seniors trying to get by on small pensions or college kids trying to save for next semester. Oh..and when you fill out info online or register to vote and you give your phone number without reading the fine print..you have only you to blame for the calls. Start giving fake numbers and the calls with stop on their own.

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