Wednesday, May 16, 2012

ANOTHER Kidney Stone? Really? Seriously?

It's 2:46 a.m. and all of the house is fast asleep. Except me.

I have this pain in my lower left side that started about the time I went to bed. It's an excruciating kind of pain that makes me want to scream, except then I'd wake up the whole house and there's nothing worse than a house where no one got any sleep.

I've had this pain off and on several times. The first time was on Thanksgiving Day. I had stayed home while Justin took the boys down to his mom's house. My parents hadn't moved to South Carolina yet, but my mom was in the middle of her chemo and I suspect she wasn't up to having Thanksgiving last year, although it's the middle of the night and I may be remembering that wrong.

No, I take that back. The first time I had this pain was when I was eight months pregnant with Joey and thought I had gone into labor. I should tell you that story sometime.

I do remember that the Thanksgiving pain last year came and went for several hours before ending in a crescendo of myself clutching the baby gate and screaming so loud that Jack came trotting to see what the hell the woman who pets him less than the man that lives here was hollering about. You've got to hand it to animals. They just know.

The pain eventually passed, in one way or another and I finally felt better. I missed Thanksgiving, but I remember Justin cooking Thanksgiving dinner for me on another day.

I got this same pain again sometime after New Year's and this time I went to Urgent Care because I thought for sure that something was going to rupture and I really wanted to be near a morphine drip when it did. After taking blood and urine and my vitals, the doctor was 99% sure I had a kidney stone because of the intensity of the pain and the blood in my pee. He sent me over to get a CT scan just to be sure and of course, it came back inconclusive. So, he left it at, "You had a kidney stone, probably." I love a man who commits.

Tonight, I went up to bed around 10:00, anticipating reading a little bit more of The Hunger Games on Joey's Kindle before falling asleep at 10:30, as usual. Since I discovered melatonin, going to sleep hasn't been a delayed nightmare for awhile. Now I get the nightmares after going to sleep (side effect), but I'd much rather have nightmares in my sleep than a nightmare getting to sleep. We got the kids and the animals all settled and read for awhile. We turned out the lights and I could tell that Justin was out like a light almost immediately. And then the pain hit.

I tossed.

I turned.

I rubbed my side, massaging, hoping it was something that might, you know, shift if I pressed hard enough and travel its way to its final destination.

Justin's phone rang and he turned it off. It chimed a voice mail. He got up and checked it. He came downstairs for awhile and worked.

I tossed. And turned.

Justin came back upstairs, got into bed, fell right back to sleep. He never knew I was awake because I had no desire to go to the emergency room.

I had to work progressively on not moaning and then not screaming. I went to the bathroom a couple of times and tried to pee.

The pain finally got so bad that I snuck downstairs for a double dose of my regular pain medication, hoping to knock myself out. I went back to bed. The minute I laid down, the pain hit again. I immediately bounced back up out of the bed and came downstairs and read some more of The Hunger Games on the Kindle while trying not to scream.

And I drank a lot of water, hoping to pass what must once again be a kidney stone. I debated waking Justin up and asking him to drive me to the ER, but since it is so much like the last time that it would be a waste of time and then he would be exhausted too. I have no desire to have the bright glare of medical land hitting me in the face at 3:00 in the morning.

I'm pretty sure the pain meds have finally kicked in or I passed the son of a bitch the last time I peed, because the pain has gone from a 10+ down to about a 7. Probably not down enough to sleep yet though.

The kids have to be up at 6:30. At this point, what's the point of going to bed?

Besides, I think I'm making Joey nervous about borrowing his Kindle to read the trilogy I downloaded for him because he asked me tonight if I liked the story and how far I had gotten. And then he suggested that I go to bed early and read like he does. (Not transparent at all, Joe. Not transparent at all. Good thing you're charming!)

So I'm up to part II in the book, I've been back and forth to the bathroom four or five times, I think I'm actually up later than my oldest son, who rarely hits the bed before dawn is on the horizon (which is around 4:30 these days - I now realize why we have daylight savings time, because otherwise it would be starting to get light in about a half hour or forty-five minutes).

But the pain has lessened for whatever reason and I am very happy about that. The daily, chronic, pain in the ass pain of fibro is one thing. The feeling that someone got angry at me and cut me with a very large, very sharp knife in my side is quite another.

Unfortunately, I don't think I'm anywhere near low enough on the pain-o-meter to actually go to sleep. Maybe I'll try to get a little farther through the book so that Joey will know he will eventually get his Kindle back.


  
P.S. On a side note, I have been working diligently on setting up my stitching website so I can stop boring stitchy people with my rather questionable writing skills and the people who are interested in the minutae of my boring life with my stitching. You'll note two new links on the right hand side of the page. The Heaven and Earth Designs link is for a specific project I am working on that displays only works in progress by that designer so that we can all encourage each other to keep going. (Because they are BIG. ASS. PROJECTS.)

The second site, The Next Best Stitch, is my new site and so far, I have managed to get pictures of most of my completed work and works in progress up. All that remains is for me to set up a tab for Love Quilts and actually put up a post and it will be all ready to go.


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