Monday, March 26, 2012

You Want to Come In Again????

After unplugging the alarm system, the beeping stopped. I felt like such an adult. I handled it. Me.

And then I got scared when it was time to cook dinner and sent Ben out for burgers.

Justin came home today and I have to say I was happy to see him. Maybe not as happy as the dog, but very happy. Somehow the house seemed empty without him. How that can be with three kids is beyond me, but there you have it. I enjoyed my time (except for the constant doorbell ringing by the neighbor kids inviting themselves into my house. I mean, seriously, if I wanted to have more children, I would have had them. I am done with having elementary school children.)

The problem is that while Joey is miles above his classmates intellectually, he is very behind socially and he gets along much better with younger kids. Unfortunately, those younger kids live right across the street and aren't supervised so much. (In fact, the kids disappear on a regular basis while the mom probably lies on the couch and puts a wet washcloth on her forehead to help with the headache of having two boys that are only two years apart and extremely rowdy.

With summer coming, I am trying to figure out ways that we can avoid the constant doorbell ringing and I'm not coming up with anything. It's not that I don't like children. It's just that I'm at a point in my life where I usually don't feel good and I need quiet. That's a big part of having CFS and fibromyalgia. Any sensory input that is annoying is amplifed ten fold. By the time I kicked them all outside, I was ready to have a nervous breakdown.

On another note, I have been stitching away on my love quilt square and have made a bunch of progress.

The next square will not have a stitch in every single square. I have no idea what I was thinking. I'm a little flustered that I'm not making more progress. After I finish the basic design, I have to go back and embellish it with metallics to put the hearts in, since it is a heart theme. The square is due on June 1st, so because I have a deadline and I am now seeing how much work this pattern really is, it's the only thing I'm working on. And that makes me sad...which is not what a hobby is supposed to do.

Of course, having small children running around my house yesterday didn't help. I was watching The Notebook and stitching when the 5 year old came down saying he was hungry. Since it was so close to dinner time, I sent him over to his house to see if his mom wanted him to have a snack. He returned 10 minutes later with a full meal to eat here. I think she was trying to send me a message or something. There are a lot of unspoken conversations with these neighbors. Why is it so hard to confront someone about the behavior of their children? She never hesitates to call me when Joey does something, so why am I afraid to broach the subject of the fact that because she isn't supervising her children, they are ringing my doorbell on a minute to minute basis and inviting themselves into my house?

I am lucky to have the excuse that Justin works from home and no friends are allowed in while he is working (which is most of the time). This reason for not allowing the small people into my house is something I am very much looking forward to this summer, when this will become a major problem.

The worst part was that I had to turn off my movie (The Notebook) and it was coming up on the scene where Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams are getting hot and heavy and the mom across the street had sent over an entire meal for her son. Because I don't allow my kids to eat in their rooms and Joey follows this rule religiously. So I had to put rugrat number two at the kitchen table and he had a direct line of sight to the television I was watching. I missed the naked Ryan Gosling scene and I was not happy. After he was finished, he set his juice drink and remaining crackers down on the skirt I was drying flat on the dining room table. (By this point, hyperventilating.)

And in case you are wondering where all this enmity is coming from, this mom is the same mom who accused me of letting Joey watch pornography in his bedroom while her son was here. She has a problem with our unlimited internet, but she still sends her kids over. I checked the history - it was all Mario Brothers and Pac Man, but because her son was acting "sheepish" when he came home, that was her first thought.

And then there was the golf incident in which her husband came home from a golf date with Justin with alcohol poisoning and said that Justin had brought the alcohol. Justin brought water.

So, yes, there are some huge communication problems here. In addition, she's been trying to "save" me to her particular brand of Christianity for over five years now. Every time I have a problem (like my mom getting sick), she insists on praying with me. Thank you, but my religion is really none of anyone else's business.

I would love to see Joey develop some friendships with kids his own age. Unfortunately, his answer to that is that the kids at school don't want to hang out with him. As a mom, this seizes my heart and makes me want to strangle every single one of those children. There are quite a few kids on our street who are close to Joey in age, but he is never included in their games and it's really starting to upset me. He's at the age where he realizes he is different and he realizes that it puts people off, but he can't help it.

Are we any closer in the tolerance of differences department than we were 20 years ago? Sometimes I think we haven't made any progress at all. Middle school kids are still cruel because they are looking for an in with the "cool" crowd and hanging out with the autistic kid is just not "cool." It's a shame. As a parent with a child who has special needs, I wonder why all of the advertising about how many children are on the spectrum and all of the autism awareness (April is autism awareness month) hasn't seemed to make any inroads into the stigma surrounding autistic kids. It makes me so sad that the only people Joey can find to play with are 6 and 8 years younger than him. He seems happy though, so maybe that's what counts?

Justin came home from New York today, bald and handsome.

The JJ's Angels team raised over $22,000 and they are almost at $300,000 for the event. This money goes direclty into the coffers of the researchers and they are making progress. That's the kind of cause you can get behind in a big way. I haven't been brave enough to get my head shaved (I'm really attached to my long hair), but Justin is representing the family. I can see this being an annual March event for him.

The kids had off from school today for a teacher workday (in which they prepare the grades that will make me scream at my middle child that you are so much smarter than this!!!!)

I realized a couple of days ago that the middle child will be old enough to get his learner's permit at the end of the month. Where does the time go? But, to bring this post back to my point, I am happy that my kids are as old as they are and much more independent. With my illnesses, it's just too hard to take care of younger kids and I don't appreciate the assumption that I will babysit whenever my neighbor needs a break from her kids.

I keep thinking of that line from Baby Mama. "Bitch, you don't know my life!" While I would never call my neighbor the "B" word, I am having a repetitive thought that every conversation I have with her is about her health issues (we've lost count of the useless ambulance trips to the emergency room across the street) and I am never able to explain my own issues and why I can't do the babysitting thing. I think a phone conversation, or even a face to face, might be a good idea at this point. Because I'm not sure what else to do.

Not that I expect that to make a difference. I've tried before. I really have.

So this is where I end today, because it's dinnertime and I want to stitch some more and I am really having fun playing on my new iPhone.

I haven't been posting as much after the drama I had last week when I offended another neighbor with some things I said in my blog. They weren't meant in a mean way and I immediately apologized and edited out the "offensive" part of the post, but it left a bad taste in my mouth and a slight fear of expressing myself here. But if I can't talk about what's going on in my life, what is the point of continuing to blog? I have a choice. I can take the blog down or I can write about whatever moves me. Today, I choose to write about my life.

There was a writing prompt yesterday about what things you don't write about on your blog. There isn't a lot of censorship for me and when that's true, I guess people are going to get upset with you. You can't please all of the people all of the time.


1 comment:

  1. This woman shouldn't be trying to "save you" while she is behaving in such an unchristian manner!Not a good role model for Christianity is she?!
    My son had a hard time at school as he wasn't "cool" and had trouble with sports. His happiest years have been the ones since he left school. People can accept and appreciate his quirky personality now, thank goodness. It hurt me too when the other kids would pick on him. School years are tough!

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