Monday, February 27, 2012

I Need a Twitter Tutorial

I am guessing that somewhere, there is a tutorial on how to do twitter? I guess I just assumed that you jump on there, set up an account, and suddenly you will be tweeting back and forth with celebrities like The Bloggess and Wil Wheaton. So far, I have one follower.

So, obviously I don't know what the hell I'm doing. I wasn't even going to ever do Twitter at all, because I already have so many time wasters in my life that I'm not exactly hanging out in real life anymore. And it's kind of a bad idea to tell your husband to stop talking to you because you have get out this Facebook update, right? Especially when he's a man of few words.

For those of you who are interested in finding me on Twitter, please follow me at "ChelleNewton" - I would LOVE for you to follow me. Whoever was the anonymous poster in the last response section who said she signed up just to follow Jenny Lawson and thought that was an awesome reason to get sucked in, that's where you can find me. Or you can email me at the address on the right hand side of this page and give me your "twitter handle" and I will follow you and send you a tweet.

Right now, I'd give anything to get a tweet. How sad is that? But I am following Penn Jillette (of Penn and Teller) because he randomly sent The Bloggess a picture of himself holding twine. Totally unsolicited. I don't know why Nathan Fillion won't respond to her request for a picture of himself holding twine, but she says she has closure because the universe sent her Penn Jillette. Anyone who is famous and would do that just because somebody probably tweeted to him that Jenny really wanted a picture of a famous person holding twine is made of all kinds of awesome. (And I'm really starting to talk way too much like a teenager here. Obviously.)

I tried to find Ryan Gosling, but do you know how hard it is to know which Ryan Gosling is the real Ryan Gosling? So I guess I'm not going to be stalking him on Twitter. I'm hopeful of locating Taylor Swift (probably also hard to find) and some other celebrities though. If you know of any, please leave their handles in my comments so I can stalk them too.

And obviously Twitter has taken up way too much of the past two days and now I'm writing about it. But when I got offline yesterday to work on my sewing project (a swap with a friend), I discovered that one whole section was off by one stitch and spent two hours ripping that section out and praying I have enough thread left over from that section to redo it. So you tell me which is more productive: Twitter or "unsewing" for two hours?

Oh and if you're bored and feel like giving me a proper lesson in how to use the damned thing, please contact me. I've got leftover soup thawing in the sink and it's not laundry day. If I don't spend my time learning another useless social media tool, I'm just going to be productively making something pretty for a friend, so... you know...


  1. I don't understand twitter. I seemed to be making a bunch of comments to myself which is fine but really redundant. Boy are they dragging us kicking and screaming into the 21st century or what? I am following you ;)

  2. I don't know if this will help, but I wrote this up for my friends a while back:


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