Saturday, October 29, 2011

Pajama Jeans: A Review

So, here they are, folks.

"Hallelujah. The fucking pajama jeans are here!"

Justin's exact words; pardon his French.

On September 3rd, I ordered a pair of these from the pajama jean people. The cost for these "jeans" was $39.95. The shipping and handling was $7.95. I spent $47.90 for one pair of pants, which I do not consider to be a small amount of money. I'm sure Justin doesn't either. I figured $7.95 for the standard shipping would have them to me within about 7-10 days. Guess again. Here are my ratings on various aspects of this shopping "experience:"

Shipping: Grade F

The original pair of pants was ordered on the internet on September 3rd. I received them approximately four weeks later. They were shipped by a company by the name of "Streamlite." (Have you ever heard of them? I haven't. I think it was a euphemism for the Pony Express, although that might be an insult to horses everywhere.) The second pair (the first pair was a size too big) was promised to be "shipped out right away" around October 3rd. I received them on October 27th. I don't know of any company I have ever ordered anything from online that takes this long to ship the original order and then do an exchange that takes two months. For $7.95. (In the meantime, I ordered a pair of yes, I'll admit it, maternity pants from the Gap last week. They were here in 5 days with free shipping. If you want to order some good quality jeans for free shipping and have them arrive before you are in old lady pants, I say go with the Gap.)

Customer Service: Grade C-

After placing my order on September 3rd, I finally emailed the company on September 21st to see where the hell my pajama jeans were. I got an email back with the tracking information. They shipped on the 18th and were "enroute to destination processing center." Because they were shipped by Streamlite, but I was under the impression from the confirmation that they were shipped through the postal service, I sent another email asking how I could track my package. After an increasingly terse email exchange, in which I threatened to contact my credit card company and deny payment if I didn't receive them by September 30th, I got this in response:

It was not shipped out by USPS as the tracking information states it was shipped out by Streamlite.

No apology for the fact that I had paid almost $8 for shipping and it was almost three weeks later and still no package. Oh, yeah, they charged my credit card on September 3rd though. Of course they did. I didn't choose the "express shipping" method because I didn't think it would take approximately the same amount of time to get my package here as it did for the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria took to get to America.

I would be giving the company an F for customer service, except that when the first pair came and was too big, I called the customer service number and asked them if they could tell me how much the original package weighed so I could print out postage to return them. The guy on the other end apologized profusely for the mix up (my fault, not his) and told me to just put "return to sender" on the package and stick it back in the mail box. He said, "I will have another pair in the right size shipped out to you right away." This was on or about October 3rd or so. (I really should have noted the date on this.)

Oh, by the way? I ordered a pair of blue pajama jeans. The first pair was blue. I also got a "free" t-shirt with my order, which was too small. I asked him to please go up a size on the t-shirt and he seemed happy to comply.

Approximately four weeks later, on October 27th, I received the second order. At that point, I just wanted to see how long it would take, although Justin was pressing me to cancel it. I said no way, this is total blog material.

The pants are black. I have a golden retriever.

The "free" shirt? A size smaller.

The only thing these people had going for them at this point was the niceness of the guy on the phone and the fact that the pants are the right size this time. I'm not bothering to return the "free" shirt, as I figure it would just cost postage and I would never get the right size. Or I might get it by my birthday. Next summer.

Quality of the Official Pajama Jeans: Grade B+

I would be giving these unbelievably comfortable pants an A, except that like with every other pair of pants that I have tried to wear in the last year and a half, by the end of the day, they were just slightly too tight around my waist. Only slightly though, which is a step above all the other pants I currently own. But it really isn't their fault that my abdomen swells. And I'm not sure it's that the pants are too tight. It's more of a sensitivity to having anything touch my abdomen by the end of the day. The area directly below my belly button feels like if I stuck a pin in it, it would pop like a balloon. (Is this a recommended medical procedure? I'm willing to give it a try at this point.) After talking to my doctor and Justin, I blame lack of activity, slowed metabolism from the hysterectomy, and the Lyrica for the fibromyalgia. Big time bummer combination.

Also, they have a pretty strong odor of black dye which may or may not come out. I plan on washing them a lot to see if I can get rid of that. I can keep you posted.

I wore my pajama jeans out yesterday when I went to see my therapist (for post-traumatic stress disorder relating to having to wait almost two months for my pajama jeans). She couldn't tell they weren't actual black jeans until I had her feel the inside down by the ankle. The material on the inside is so super soft that I think I actually could sleep in these if the waist didn't start to shrink by bedtime. They even fit a little bit better than my sweat pants from last year, which have repeatedly shrunk in the wash over the last year. I think it's a problem with my washer. Or my dryer. Or the chocolate chip cookies and tortilla chips.

The material is so soft and flexible that you can move and sit cross-legged (if you are able to do that in the first place) or sit on your foot or any of the things you would do in sweats or yoga pants that you can never do in jeans. They are cute, fashionable, and comfortable. I think for anyone else, the waistline wouldn't be a problem. But, that's my issue.

Advertising: Grade C

By the way, did you know that you can buy the "as seen on tv" pajama jeans at Sears? Well, now you know. I did not know until someone on my Facebook page told me. Are they making a profit off of the shipping and handling? Are they charging more if you go to their website? I've got to give them an A for getting me to the site and being intrigued enough to order a pair, but an F for not letting me know a 10 minute run over to Sears would have netted me the same pants. Possibly in the right color. And the t-shirt would have been the right size.

I can honestly say that I would not order another pair of these pants from the website. Between the long wait when I was desperate for a pair of pants that wouldn't leave me in tears of pain within a few hours and the nasty, terse, unapologetic emails, and the wrong color, and the t-shirt in the wrong size, I can't see the point of spending $47.90 on a pair of pants. And I suspect that I can get another pair for half the price over at Sears. I plan on looking into that.

What I would love more than anything is to find a pair of pants that are in that stonewashed, faded blue they used to make, are comfortable in the waist, hit me at the right place at my ankle so they don't look like mom jeans, and that would be my go to pants every day. The Gap pants are probably just slightly small, but I see huge potential if they come out with more colors. I don't know why I put up such a fight against ordering maternity pants, since that's exactly what my middle section looks like. I keep waiting for the inevitable "when are you due?" questions, although the gray hair and wrinkles might be telling people that I am just getting that middle aged spread.

Next stop: The Gap in a size up from what I ordered the last time to give my abdomen a little more room (I can wear the other ones, but I think one size up would be a bit more comfortable). And I may swing by Sears to see if they have the pajama pants in a less expensive display. Maybe I can exchange my t-shirt there and avoid the four week wait. I swear it takes longer to get pajama jeans than it does to buy a handgun. At least in Virginia. And we have a waiting period.

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