|My Side of the Closet|
The one pair of jeans was purchased last week. I knew they were too big, but at the rate I am gaining weight on these meds, I figure it's hedging my bets to have a pair in a larger size. Plus, they were on sale and I had a rewards coupon. So I decided to keep them, even though I can't wear them right now.
The other two pairs are cargo pants I bought at Kohl's in January of this year, when I was beginning to have extreme difficulties fitting into all of the pants I currently owned. These pants have elastic waistbands and I got my mother to hem them and bring the seams in a bit so that they didn't flare out at the bottom. I'm a "skinny jeans" girl, even though my stomach and rear end no longer meet the definition. I figure if they make "skinny jeans" in larger sizes, they are meant for larger sizes. Maybe if I find the right pair of "skinny jeans," they will diminish my ever expanding ass.
There are four dresses hanging there, two of which I wear and two of which I don't. (Yes, I should declutter the two I don't wear, but I haven't yet.) I am not really a "dress person." I hang out at home most days, either at my desk or on the couch, attempting to further my writing career through banging sentences and paragraphs out for the blog or writing for the Ask a Bipolar website. Since I like doing it, it's not really like work. And I don't get paid, so it's all a great gift to humanity...well, that might be stretching things a bit.
The point is that it's just not "dress" work. The only kind of clothes I need are clothes that cover me decently, are comfortable, and that are neither too large or, more importantly, too small. With the weight increase that has crept up on me since my hysterectomy and the additional weight that seems to be accumulating with the introduction of the new medications, I simply cannot sit around the house in anything that is uncomfortable or too dressy. Uncomfortable explains itself. How can I focus on writing if my jeans are cutting off my circulation and making me cry? Dresses are wonderful and I love wearing them, but wearing them around the house feels kind of silly. Plus, the two dresses I do wear are dark in color and two of my animals are golden in color. Enough said.
Here is a picture of the jeans I have "decluttered" from the rack below them:
The sad thing is that I bought all of these within the last year. It's really scary to spend that money and then have them be too tight within a month. I agree with Justin wholeheartedly that I need to do something about my inactivity and I want to start walking. When it is not 90 degrees with 100% humidity or pouring rain or freezing cold outside. Maybe I just need to walk the circuit of the inside of my house with a pedometer to see how many times I would have to do that to make 10,000 steps in a day. Whichever...I know, I know, I know I need to exercise. I saw the picture we took today with my brother and parents where my butt had trouble fitting into the screen. It's an incentive. I promise.
I broke down and ordered a pair of pajama jeans yesterday. They finally came out with a "skinny" version, which means I won't get that 70's bell bottom flare at the bottom that is so popular right now. I have skinny legs (compared to my butt and waistline, which are not), so skinny jeans will work well if I can ever find a pair that I can fasten that do not cut off the blood circulation to my brain. Pajama jeans are supposed to fix that problem by being as comfortable as your pajamas. Personally, my pajamas are so soft and have been washed so often that you could probably poke a hole in them with your finger because the fabric is so thin now. It will be very interesting to see if these pajama jeans are anywhere near as comfortable as my butter soft cotton pajama bottoms I've been wearing all summer. I promise to post a picture and a plug for the pajama jeans if they work. And to order 3 more pair. Well maybe one more pair, since my size seems to keep going up, up, up...
As long as I am showing my closet, here's the bottom half:
These shoes were all jumbled around, but I thought I would make it look like I am actually organized or something. There are two pairs of honest to god dress shoes in there (i.e. expensive), one in black and one in neutral, that I will most likely never put on my feet again. But there lingers that thought, "Well, I might need them for something, someday..." It might be the part of my brain that still holds onto the thought that some day I will be fit and medicated well enough to actually go out into the work force again. But, assuming that happens, I am sure I will want new shoes because the styles are going to change between now and that far off date. Not to mention the fact that they weren't comfortable when I was wearing them. Why would I want to wear them now? Or in the future?
There are 12 pairs of shoes showing. Then, there are my athletic shoes downstairs that never make it to my closet and a pair of sandals. Those are the two pairs of shoes I wear on a daily basis. The ones that are not in my closet. These are the rest of them. Two of them are boots - one brown suede that need new shoelaces and are great for walking on shoveled sidewalks and one black suede that I have not been able to find one pair of pants they look good with (maybe because I have no pants? haha). Only one of the pairs of boots probably should stay, but since the shoes and the winter tops are the only things I really have in my closet that I can wear, I may hold off on making it any emptier in there.
So, I will sit here and wait for my pajama jean delivery. I also ordered a pair of the Old Navy (big butt) jeans one size smaller than the ones that are hanging in my closet. Hopefully between those two deliveries, I will have something I can wear this winter underneath all of the tops you see hanging there. And I always have the old standby sweat pants. I think I'm going to get off the vanity train and just go out in sweats or whatever and realize that no one is looking at me anyway. As long as my bottom is covered, that probably means that my invisibility cloak is working just fine. Unless I wear something that is people of walmart dot com worthy. (And if that day comes, please just have my children put me into the home because those people should not be allowed out in public without adult supervision.)
Chelle (the pantless blogger)