Saturday, September 3, 2011

The Ambien Wars

Courtesy Google Images

Last night, Justin went into our bank account before coming up to get ready for bed. When he saw the payments I had scheduled for the credit cards, he kind of freaked out, because it looked like I had been spending up a storm. Unfortunately, since the following conversation happened after I had taken my ambien last night, I wasn't sure I hadn't been spending up a storm. In fact, I hadn't remembered paying a huge amount on my credit cards until he came upstairs and began the following discussion.

Justin: Are your credit cards almost paid off yet?

Me: (Totally confused.) What do you mean?

Justin: Well, you paid X for this card and X for your Old Navy card and X for your Visa card and it added up to XXX (no, there was nothing X-rated about it).

Me: (Still totally confused.) I don't remember spending that much money.

Justin: Well, those were the amounts you paid. We (i.e. you) need to stop spending so much money every month.

Me: Well, we did go on vacation. You know I went shopping and got that necklace. You said it was okay.

Justin: I didn't say it was okay to spend X!

Me: I really don't remember spending that much money. I need to check the account and see if maybe someone used my card.

Justin: Well, you paid it, so you must have spent it.

Me: Do you want me to go downstairs and figure out what I spent the money on?

Justin: No. I just think we need to stop overspending.

Me: You mean I need to stop overspending. I didn't overspend! Is your credit card paid off? (Best defense is a good offense, right?)

Justin: It will be next month. I thought you had paid the mortgage, but you didn't. It was the credit cards. What did we (i.e. you) spend that much on?

Me: I can change the payments going out to be less if you want me to.

Justin: No, they're already in process. You can't change them now.

Me: (Under my breath) Oh yes I can. (Mutter, mutter, mutter, what the hell did I spend X on????)

Justin: (Gets in the shower and forgets about the conversation.)

After stomping down the stairs, feeling very put upon because my bill paying was in question and doing a little bit of research, I realized that actually, I hadn't spent X amount of dollars. It just looked like I had. My mom, being the wonderful grandmother she is, had given me a check last month to buy Rosetta Stone for my two oldest kids so that they wouldn't flunk out of Spanish this year. I used one of my (paid off) credit cards to pay for it. Justin had taken the check to the bank and deposited it and I had paid the bill when the it came. (Um, because it was, you know, due?)

So I went into the bank account and checked. Yes, I had spent a little more than I usually spend, but we were on vacation and who doesn't spend more than they usually spend when they're on vacation, especially when they have trolley access to the outlet mall? But I really didn't spend a lot more than I normally spend. To keep the peace, I backed two of the payments off to give us more breathing room until the next paycheck and went back upstairs, ready to re-engage. (Because I certainly hadn't forgotten the conversation. Hmph.)

Me: It was the Rosetta Stone. Remember? Mom gave us a check?

Justin: (Half asleep) What? Oh, yeah. Oh. Okay.

Me: See? I am not overspending!

Never argue with a woman who has taken her ambien. You can't win.


 P.S. I had Justin read this before posting and he said although it isn't exactly how the conversation went, it's close enough. And he said I never answered the question as to whether or not my credit cards are paid off. The answer is they would have been, except he kind of asked me not to.

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