Thursday, August 18, 2011

Why I Love My Husband

This may seem cheesy, but I thought it was probably going to be too long to put as a Facebook status. I was just sitting and thinking about all the reasons I love my husband and I thought, "Hey, I should let everyone else know!" So, at the risk of sounding sappy, I love my husband because:
  • He will drive anywhere at any time, day or night, if there is something I want.
  • He remembers when I mention something I want and goes and gets it for me to surprise me (i.e. the Baskin Robbins ice cream that is currently saving my sanity).
  • He runs errands so I don't have to.
  • He does the grocery shopping every week and makes stops when we need extra stuff. He also gasses up my car for me.
  • He works his ass off to support me and our kids.
  • He respects his mom and calls her regularly. He loves her unconditionally, just because she's his mom. I could not ask for a better role model for our kids for the way they should treat their mother!
  • If I say "chocolate," I will have Ghiradelli or pretzel M&M's after his next trip to the store.
  • He always tells me I look nice, whether I have showered or not, whether I am wearing makeup or not, whether I have gained weight or lost it (yeah, lost it, haha), whether I am dressed up or in my sweats.
  • He doesn't make me feel guilty about bringing home our gigantic, neurotic golden retriever and then asking him (without words) to walk him every morning so I don't have to. He just did.
  • He cooks because I can't. Without him, we wouldn't eat. Well, not anything edible.
  • He takes care of me, the kids, the pets, his mother, his grandmother...always before he takes care of himself. He is the most selfless man I have ever met.
  • He doesn't look for recognition, no matter how much he deserves it. He just does things for other people to be nice and never claims the credit. And never even expects or asks for a thank you.
  • He understands when I need to break down and cry on his shoulder and when I need to be left alone. And he celebrates with me when I am happy. He has ridden out my mood swings for the last 23 years while staying on an even keel.
  • He never fights dirty. Ever.
  • He demands that our kids treat me with respect.
  • Whatever I want, whatever I need, he is always there for me. He has been there for every childbirth, baby milestone, personal achievement, hospital visit, numerous surgeries, fibromyalgia, and bipolar disorder. And a million other things that we have gone through in 23 years of being married.
  • He doesn't ever question that I have two chronic illnesses, even though he can't see the pain I am in. Some guys would run the other way if their wife had ONE chronic illness, but he sticks with me even though I have two.   
  • He loves my parents like they are his own. And...
  • He does not put up with any bullshit from me. He calls me on it when I am not being truthful or the kind of person I should be and that makes me a better me.
Justin believes in for better or for worse. I can only hope it's more better than worse. I know it has been for me.

I am sure that there are a million things I have left out of this list and I love him for all of those things too that I didn't think up for this list. I reserve the right to add to it later.

For those of you who don't know, we are going through a very tough time in our family right now. I hope that I have been there for him, because I know he is here for me. My parents could not have asked for a better son-in-law or husband for their daughter.

Justin, I just wanted to say thank you for all of the things you do to make my life so wonderful and so easy. I know being married to me is a lot to handle, but you do it with so much ease that you make it seem effortless. You are my best friend, which goes without saying but I'm saying it anyway. I appreciate and respect you. I also love you, but sometimes I wonder if appreciation and respect mean more than love in relationship. Luckily, I don't need to make a choice.

Chelle

 

5 comments:

  1. A very beautiful post, Chelle. I am glad you have such a wonderful man to take care of you. I have no doubt that he feels blessed to have you in his life also.

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  2. Chelle - This just made my heart full. Thanks for taking the time to put this in writing. You expressed some reasons that are true for me too that I hadn't even thought of! This was so moving.

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  3. Thank you both. I am sure there are lots of things I forgot! But I just was feeling so appreciative of everything he does that I thought I would share.

    I hope he feels blessed to have me, as I know I can be a difficult person to live with. I am certainly blessed to have him. :o)

    Hugs,
    Chelle

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  4. This was truly touching. My fiance is a quadriplegic and unable to do for me the things your husband does. But I know he would if he could because he takes every opportunity to show me he loves me and does what he can. The first sign I had of this side of his personality was when he presented me with a small but lovely engagement ring. He had skipped many meals for 6 months to use the grocery money to save for a ring. I would not love the ring anymore if it was 100 carats! We are truly blessed women.

    I also wanted to ask you a question. I, too, have fibromyalgia but I have continued to teach elementary school. Most of my friends with fibro have stopped working and are on disability. Because I feel it is my calling from God I am continuing even though the physical requirements drain me each day. The question concerns my house which truly is a mess. You have to consider that I was hospitalized with a severe MRSA infection that required 3 months off of work and two surgeries, identity theft, where all my money was stolen out of my bank in two days, my father's near death experience in a hospital's ICU unit for 8 months, getting my masters' degree, earning my National Board Certification and my mother's death. So my house has been a mess for the last 5 years. I do what I can, but my family and friends make snide remarks about its state. Before the last 5 years, my house was always neat, but as you know, fibro attacks can be triggered by health events and stress. I am also a diabetic whose blood sugar levels are not controlled, and I have high blood pressure as well as arthritis. I am doing the best I can, but it demoralizes me when people are so critical. Do you ever have to deal with this issue, or because your husband is so wonderful have you been able to avoid it. Most people don't understand fibro. When I was first diagnosed with it, many of my doctors didn't even know what it was. I feel like saying "Hey, I'm a walking miracle because everyone else is on disability and has family support. I have a very demanding job which I have continued to do despite the pain and fatigue. Instead of criticizing, why don't you help? Am I wrong to feel this way? Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

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  5. First, that is so touching that your fiance actually skipped meals to save the money for your ring. That is one of the sweetest things I have ever heard! I am sure you will treasure that ring way more than Kim Kardashian will ever treasure her wedding ring!

    As far as the house is concerned, my husband and I finally agreed that the best thing was for us to pay someone to come in and do the heavy cleaning. I have tried to clear out as much of the extra junk, a little bit at a time, as I can and that leaves less to pick up. My husband is not a big cleaner - he would WAY rather work in the yard or on the cars than clean. He does the dishes and most of the cooking, but neither one of us wants to do the cleaning. And for me, physically, it is hard. I could not work full time and I have not been able to for a long time. I was not even able to keep a part time job.

    We compromised on how this was going to be taken care of by spending $85 every other week to have someone come in and clean. She does a great job and I only have to spot clean in between cleanings. I work at keeping the dog hair cleaned up, which doesn't take a lot of effort, but I do not clean bathrooms (my least favorite thing to do) or dust and vaccuum myself. I'm lucky that we are able to do this and it is partly due to the fact that I am receiving disability. We may have to not order out or forego something else we want, but it is well worth the money to have my entire house cleaned every other week.

    And the bonus is that the night before this woman comes every two weeks, I tell everyone to "clean up" for the cleaning lady and everyone straightens their rooms and puts their clothing away. My husband and I clear off the counters in the kitchen and bathroom and that way the clutter is effectively controlled about twice a month. Because I have decluttered so much of our stuff, there is not a lot of clutter, but we have the same general stuff lying around as most people - newspapers, magazines, junk mail, recycle that needs to go out, etc. Twice a month, the entire house gets a 30 minute sweep to get this stuff off of surfaces so that they can be cleaned.

    For me, a bigger issue I would be wondering about is why your family and friends are being so unsupportive and not offering to help you instead of making snide remarks. The next time someone says something about your house, you could respond with, "That sounds like you are offering to help! How sweet! I need help with x, y, and z this week. Thank you so much!"

    I hope this helps. Because you are working full time, could you possibly afford to have someone come in even once a month? Or maybe you could hire a teenager in your neighborhood who is looking to make some extra money to come in and do some of the stuff you are unable to do.

    Most of all, do not let your family make you feel guilty about how your house looks. I don't think anyone has the right to judge how someone else keeps their house. You obviously have a lot of issues that you are dealing with. I don't think that cleaning should be on the top of your list of priorities.

    Hugs,
    Chelle

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