|Courtesy Google Images|
It started on Thursday with a general feeling of exhaustion. I started sleeping later and later last week and didn't know why. I felt fine and the increased dosage of lyrica seemed to be working wonders.
Yesterday, I noticed my pain levels were higher and attributed it to the intense heat wave that has been hanging around for the last month. I had seen on the news that the "heat dome" that has been sitting over Texas was about to move our way again this weekend and didn't really think much about it.
I can never remember if my pain is worse when it's winter or summer, but it seems to me that I feel the best when it is about 60 degrees and raining outside. I could use a good summer rainshower right about now.
I woke up early this morning when the dog barked at the paper delivery person and the cat wouldn't shut up because he wanted fresh food in his bowl. I woke again at 8:30 thinking it was time to get up. I woke up finally at 10:20 after a horrific dream and in a lot of pain. I think the pain in my dream followed me into my day. I had taken my first daily meds at 8:30 and they should have been helping, but I was really slow getting myself up. It was hell just to brush my hair.
I know I've been spending way too much time on the computer because I have shooting pains in the sides of my hands from resting them on the laptop while I type. The pain goes up into my arms as they ache and complain. Pain meds are not touching it and I am still exhausted, even though I didn't get up last night like I normally do when Justin goes to sleep. I slept for almost 11 hours and I am still exhausted.
Welcome back fibromyalgia. When you google "pain" in google images, there are a lot of images that come up, but the broken heart with the bandaid just seemed to sum up what I am feeling today. I thought my med change was going to cure me. I always do that to myself. I know there is no cure for this disease, but when something works temporarily, I get my hopes up that we have found the magic bean that will make me well for the rest of my life. And people say I'm a pessimist.
Today, my heart is broken and I am putting bandaids on it. But a bandaid is not a cure. I need a cure. All the people in the world who have this insidious, chronic disease need a cure. Please, somebody find a cure.
Yes, this flare is like the wind - it will blow through and I will feel better tomorrow or the day after. Or the day after that. But for today, I am going to go finish Treasure Island and start on the new e-book from Stephen King. Today I am taking it easy and tomorrow, hopefully, I will be back in a more positive form.