Friday, July 15, 2011

Help! My House Smells Like Ass!

Jackson the Stinky Retriever

Doesn't he look regal in this picture?  I posted this pic and some other ones up on Facebook yesterday and people loved them.  I got told by somebody that he looked very gentle.  As if.  Don't let that face fool you.

For the last couple of weeks, this dog has been chewing at his, um, hind end.  When we took him in for his summer grooming at Petco, they were supposed to clean out those glands that nobody wants to talk about but that dogs notoriously love to drag across the carpet.  I don't think they did it because my house smells like fish and the dog's nose is suspiciously wet...ewwww....

This afternoon, I called the vet.  The message went something like this:

Hi, it's Chelle.  Um, I was wondering if you could possibly come by and clean out Jack's anal glands.  This is something Justin and I would be more than happy to pay you to do.  Please call me back.

I went into the office and said to Justin:  This dog stinks.  I called the vet.

Justin:  Yeah, his ass is bothering him.

Me:  Why does he smell like fish?  Shouldn't he smell like ass?

Justin:  Maybe that's what ass smells like.

Okay, that's not something I ever considered before, but I will concede the possibility because my house smells an awful lot like fish oil right now and I am hoping the vet can get over here before the weekend.  Unfortunately, there is no carpet on the main level of the house, because I can just see the roaringly funny pictures I could take with my new camera of him dragging his butt across my floors.

Some days it pays more to be a pet owner than others.  I love that dog, but holy God does he smell.

He is also of the firm belief that he is a lap dog, something we cannot seem to get through his head that he most definitely is not.  I think 85 pounds more than qualifies as "not a lap dog."

Please, please send thoughts to my vet to get herself over here and do something about our dog's ass.  I don't think we can take a whole weekend of full anal glands.  And there's a sentence I never thought I would write.



1 comment:

  1. Chelle- you are too funny when you write about your pathetically CUTE family member. I can picture the whole conversation and thats why its so funny. I have to say that the pic of both J's is for sure a desk pic.

    Love you guys


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