Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Sleep Must Be for People Without Fibromyalgia

It's amazing how much insomnia is messing with my mind these days.  Every night, I seem to be pushing the time I go to bed back further and further.  Maybe eventually, I will just be going to bed at the right time the next night?

Of course, it's always harder to sleep when I'm worried, but I was ready to give it a shot tonight.  Except the minute I turned my light out, I heard what I thought was thunder.  Jack, being the neurotic puppy he still is, doesn't really like thunder and I did not want him to wake Justin up.  Justin really needs sleep right now with what he is going to be dealing with over the next few days with his dad.

So I immediately came back downstairs.  The dog was completely sacked out by the wall where we'd left him and where he prefers to sleep (you'd think he'd like the soft bed in his crate better, but for some reason, the hardwood floor is where dreamland is at) and remains that way even now, after the storm has passed.  I, of course, am wide awake and wondering how late it will have to get before I can actually lie down and go to f&@*^g sleep already.

There's a new audio book out that is a parody of a children's bedtime story.  I don't have my kindle down here, but I think the title is Go The F*#k to Sleep! and it's read by Samuel L. Jackson of Pulp Fiction fame.  We've all been there as parents, just living for our children's bedtimes and then they simply will not cooperate.  I need a drink of water, I need to go to the bathroom, I need another blanket....anything and everything they can think of to keep you in their room for just a little while longer.  God forbid they've lost the toy they sleep with because nobody gets any sleep until you've ripped the house apart and even run back over to the friend's house where you might have left it in the desperate attempt to get your little cherub into dreamland.

I laughed and snickered and snorted the entire time I listened to the book, while Justin observed the crazy woman with earphones laughing to herself and wondered if another trip to the psych ward might be in order.  This little parody would have been great for me back when the kids were little and simply would not give me a moment's peace.  I was always an early to bedtime mama.  Those kids had better have their asses in their beds, teeth brushed, pajamas on, baths done, stuffed animal in hand at 7:30 pm sharp, because after that, unless there was blood, urine, or puke somewhere there wasn't supposed to be, I did not want to know about it.  And it better be damned quiet up there!!!!

Tonight, when I went into Joey's room after 11:00 to kiss him goodnight on my way to bed, he looked up at me seriously from the book he was reading by the closet light and said, "I thought you were in bed by now."  Um...isn't that supposed to go the other way around?  When I came downstairs to check out the thunder/dog situation, I ran into Ben getting himself a midnight snack on the way back up to whatever it is he does in our "bonus" room up there - I'm sure it has something to do with the two games he brought back from Gamestop last weekend.

It's hard to be in control of bedtimes when the kids go to sleep after you do.  This is one area my insomnia comes in handy, since I have a pretty good idea of who goes to bed and when.  I can hear when it starts to get quiet, so I know when the younger two at least have given it up for the night.  Ben's quiet enough that I don't particularly care when he goes to sleep, as long as he is up for whatever he needs to do the next day.

At any rate, two of the three kids are now asleep, Justin is asleep, the dog is asleep, and the cats actually came down looking for me.  They won't be happy until I am in bed and sleeping.  My being up messes with their circadian rhythms or something.  So I will finish this post and go see if the sleep meds kicked in yet.  I really don't want to be a stay up all night, sleep all day kind of person because that just feels wrong to me.


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