Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A Father's Day Nightmare

It's kind of hard to write today - I'm so, so sad about Justin's dad having a heart attack on Father's Day.  They are trying to stabilize him enough to do triple bypass surgery, but there has been a lot of damage to his heart.  And it's such a big heart, I can't imagine why this could happen.

I am dealing with the grief of this from two hours away, while Justin is at the hospital.  We are holding hands and giving hugs virtually by texting and phone.

It is when these things happen (and so many horrible things have happened in our family in the last year) that you truly realize what is important.  I can write about my struggles with my fibromyalgia and bipolar disorder.  I can write about decreasing our consumer debt and decluttering my house and my life.  I can post about my garden and the things my goofy dog has destroyed.  But, when it comes right down to it, what is really important?  It is family and friends and the love and support you get from them when something like this happens.  It is spending time with your spouse, your parents, your children.  It is stopping whatever you are doing if your child wants to talk.  Because you never know when your life might change in an instant.

I feel extremely grateful to have such a wonderful, loving, supportive family.  I feel blessed to have a relationship with my brother again after so many years of being so far apart mentally and emotionally.  I feel thankful that my three children are healthy and happy and growing up with each other.  Having siblings is so important, whether they know it now or not.  They are bonded for the rest of their lives by having me and Justin as their parents.

I know that I will go on to write about all of the things that consume me on a daily basis.  I will update my spending diet, post pictures of the clutter leaving the house, and whine about my physical and emotional pain, because life goes on.  Somehow, the world keeps turning, even though something so monumentally huge that you can't begin to grasp it has happened.  Today, it feels like the earth is standing still and I find myself surprised that time continues to pass and everything hasn't come to a grinding halt.

Twice now, this year, Justin and I have had to face the prospect of losing one of our parents.  I was incredibly fortunate that my mom survived her cancer.  I can only hope and pray that Justin's father will pull through this and hope that a little angel is up there whispering in God's ear for us.



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