Saturday, May 14, 2011

Insomnia Again...

Alas, I find myself awake again and blogging after taking medication.  I will most likely have to go back in the morning and clean up whatever mess I've left.

I had made a vow to myself that I would not get onto the computer after midnight, but sometimes writing is the only way I have of making myself ready to go to sleep.  It's so much more relaxing to me than watching some stupid sitcom rerun or reading something that might keep me up wanting more of the story.  And, as my therapist tells me, writing is very therapeutic (not that I needed her to tell me that).

My husband and at least two of the kiddies are asleep already, as Jamie is volunteering tomorrow for the police cadets at a youth football game.  That should be a lot of fun for him.  I can't recommend this cadet program highly enough and if you have a teenager who is interested in either police work or the military, check with your local sheriff's or police department to see if they have a mentoring program for young people.  He is learning a lot about what real life is all about through this program.  Last week they did a role play of stopping a drunk driver and he got to play the "drunk."  I think fun was had, but the seriousness of the issue was understood.  I seem to also remember him telling me that they handcuffed the kids so that they could understand what it felt like and I don't think he liked it.  That's a very good thing, because I want these kids I'm raising to remember about the rules of our society and not break them.

I had a rough day today.  I was a little amused when someone wished me a Happy Fibromyalgia Day yesterday.  I mean, really, should I be happy about it?  There's nothing happy about this disease or the other one I can't seem to get rid of.  There's nothing like a chronic illness to sap your positivity.

Hell, I'd just like to be able to go to sleep at night when normal people do.  I've tried the get up at the regular time and stay up route, but honestly.  It really doesn't work.  I will either be really sleepy all day and evening and then wide awake at bedtime again or I will end up napping in the afternoon, defeating the purpose.

I'm not a night owl by nature, but now I am completely not a morning person.  Once the kids are all grown up and don't need me in the morning anymore at all, it won't be a problem, but for now, I struggle on the days they have school.  So glad today was Friday!

I told Justin that I am so looking forward to their summer break.  Please remind me that I said that in about a month, when the vacation has started to wear on me a little bit.  And I'm still trying to figure out whether we can take a short, cheap trip somewhere that has some water and a nice big front porch with rocking chairs.  It's probably too late in the year to plan something, but I can't believe in this economy that all of the vacation places are taken.  If we could just afford the gas to get there...last I saw, it was creeping over $4 a gallon, making going anywhere far away not a good idea, just from a filling the tank perspective.

I will hopefully have pictures up tomorrow of my beautiful roses and my equally beautiful ripening strawberries.  Who knew I had a green thumb?  And gardening has been helpful during a bout of depression I've been fighting for the last couple of weeks.  You can really lose yourself when you're digging in the dirt and the sunshine is on your shoulders (John Denver, I believe?)

Also, if you are on Facebook, please check out the Life on the Domestic Front fan page in your search block.  It's only in the initial stages, but I will be adding to it and updating statuses shortly.  And the profile picture is way cool.  I wish that blogspot was a little more flexible in its design options because I have something very specific in mind for the background of my blog, but no option to choose it.  Again, another reason to think about my own domain name and web administrator.  (Not in the budget, Chelle!)

Hope it's a happy weekend for you.

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