Thursday, November 4, 2010

On Keeping my Mouth Shut and Doing What I Love

I have this sign over the top of my desk:

It has the Serenity Prayer, which is beautiful.  I'm not a very serene person, but I'm working on it.  It also has a statement, if you can see it, requesting that God assist me in keeping my mouth shut.

As you have probably figured out from my posts, keeping my mouth shut is not my forte.  I have a feeling that when I asked Justin if I could move my desk into his office, he wasn't that thrilled, knowing my propensity to talk.  Hence the sign above my computer with the reminder.

I've spent a lot of my life in situations where it was politic to keep my opinions to myself.  In some of them, I was more successful than others.  When I became officially "retired" last month, I was thrilled with the idea that I would be able to voice my opinions freely.  I quickly realized, however, that the only person around to voice them to is my husband, who prefers to work his sixty hour week without comments from the peanut gallery.

Since Justin brings home the majority of the bacon which allows us to live so comfortably, I have to defer to his wishes and try to work in the quiet.  Sometimes I will move my laptop into the family room, just to have the background noise of the television.  I admit to missing the sound of other people's voices on occasion.

I find myself coming into the office when Justin is out doing other things to turn on the iPod and write.  There's something about background noise, even if you are tuning it out, that makes for better creativity.  My favorite writer, Stephen King, has said in numerous interviews that he listens to various classic rock artists while he writes.  If it works for him, why not for me?  I tend more towards the 80's hair bands and Taylor Swift, but whatever floats your boat or gets your mind moving makes me think he's on the right track.  After all, he's sold more than forty novels and, without fail, has a new one in the bookstore every November.

Since making writing my full time passion, I have discovered that creativity is not a 9-5 job.  You can't always just sit down and have the prose (or vitriol, depending upon your mood) flow whenever you command.  You have to be in the mood and sometimes I find that frustrating.  There are some days that I write pages and then delete them and there a lot of days when I throw up my hands and go read a book.  But usually at some point during those days, I will find myself writing paragraphs in my head while in the shower or changing the laundry.  Sometimes it's like a lightning strike and I have to run to my desk to write it out.

The beauty of being "retired" is the freedom to pursue something I've always been passionate about.  Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending upon how you look at it), I don't always have someone off which to bounce my ideas.  I have decided to take Justin's opinion when I am lucky enough to get it (because he's often the voice of reason and sanity that I am just, well, not), enjoy the ability to spend all my time working on the various projects I have started, and realize that my glass is much more than half full.  Finally.

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